desideration ( synonym found)
Definition of desideration:

(n) : the act of despairing or becoming desperate; a giving up of hope; a state of despair, or utter hopeless; abandonment of hope; extreme recklessness; reckless fury
Definition of desideration:

(n) : the act of despairing or becoming desperate; a giving up of hope; a state of despair, or utter hopeless; abandonment of hope; extreme recklessness; reckless fury
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